horrors I can not be feminine.
My mind does not recognize my body as that of a woman so any improvement is a task of mental effort.
If I'm not very careful I can wake up one day with his eyebrows as clouds, hair with split ends in twenty or nails with enamel remains distant two weeks ago. If you ask me go out without makeup, no perfume or if you ask me a lot until I can forget the deodorant.
And I live with guilt. When I find myself in one of these lapses, I am filled with guilt, I say I am the Unattended woman on the planet and I add to this the eternal "I'm ugly" .
Then there are whole days that I'm thinking I'm a female horror, watched with whatever happens, I suffer the meetings, I tie her hair untidy and I quickly arrive at 7 so I'm home and no one has to see me. I think everyone is noticing my eyebrows with the hair, my pores without makeup, my nails cracked and just leave me to face the ground.
and 7 and I'm coming home. Hair back, tweezers in hand, light from the front, facing the mirror and looked at me. I look and see myself objectively. And if I have my faults but not so. I look and I look good, messy perhaps without luxurious finishes, perfect, obviously, but good.
And I wonder how many eyes dodged that day, how many lunches with fun people got lost in the week, I avoided many business meetings, many opportunities and I looked, how much, not knowing look at me, I avoided myself.
(hopefully only have a misperception of mine as far as aesthetics are concerned)
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